Watch Me
by CuteCat213
Summary: Itachi's mind is a whirlwind, a wild, twisting storm that never sleeps, never slows down, and no matter what he does, no one sees. No one listens. 'Watch the baby,' his mother tells him, and for the first time in his life, Itachi can breathe. Can pause and calm down and be. 'Watch me, Sasuke,' he says. 'Watch me.' Sasuke does. Who I Am series.


Itachi's mind is a whirlwind, a wild, twisting storm that never sleeps, never slows down, and no matter what he does, no one _sees_. No one listens.

'Watch the baby,' his mother tells him, and for the first time in his life, Itachi can _breathe_. Can pause and calm down and _be_.

'Watch me, Sasuke,' he says. 'Watch me.' Sasuke does.

Sasuke's first word is 'Itachi'. His second is 'look'. His third is 'see'. 'Kaasan' ranks somewhere around sixth or seventh, after 'no' and 'yes' and 'mine'.

'Itachi-Itachi-Itachi. Look, do you see me, Itachi?' And Itachi does.

It sets a precedent that follows them both for the rest of their lives. 'Watch me, Sasuke.' 'Look, Itachi, see me?'

XXX

* * *

They call him _genius_. They call him _prodigy._ They call him _gifted._ They say these things like they're _good things_. Then why don't they _feel_ like a good thing? Why does it feel like his mind is a reckless mess, an unending whirlwind that won't let him catch his breath?

Itachi can't _breathe_ because there's too much inside his head, bouncing around and knocking into other things with no space for _thought_ because everything happens all at once. Too much. Everything is always too much- but also not enough. The world is _slow_ , _boring_. It's not _enough_. Not enough to capture Itachi's attention. Not enough to draw him out of his mind where everything is so much more interesting. Confusing and painful, but interesting.

He's a ninja _prodigy_. Masters Genjutsu basics and the theory behind Ninjutsu and devours every scroll and book and scrap he can get his hands on because it's so much better than the _people_ around him. Itachi wonders if they see him at all. If he means more than those words to his teachers and his family and his father. They gawk at him, pat him on his head, send him on his way. None of them understand, none of them _see_ and it makes him want to _scream_.

'Look at me!' he doesn't shout. 'Do you see me standing here! I'm drowning! Help me!' he doesn't cry. He rips through his studies for something, for _anything_ that might help, that might let him slow down just long enough to take a breath.

Even in sleep, his mind is all awhirl. He wakes up in the middle of the night with his heart pounding from dreams that are all flashing images and tornadoes of color tearing by. He doesn't know if they're dreams or nightmares, he's not sure there's a difference. Other children his own age can't keep up with him at all. Even older children struggle at it. And the older they are, the more they resent him for it and the less inclined they are to try and offer any sort of relief their presence might give him.

At five years old, Itachi is the best student of his generation. And he's considered sneaking drugs to slow things down, considered slitting his wrists with his kunai just to get everything to _stop_. He just wants everything to stop for a little bit.

And then his little brother is born into the world like a hurricane all his own, screaming lungs and flailing limbs. And his mother puts baby Sasuke in his arms and he stops crying to look up at Itachi. Everything _stops._ Sasuke cooes, reaches up for him, and Itachi smiles for the first time he can recall. For the first time in his life, Itachi can _breathe._

Machines around the room start beeping and Sasuke cries while the medics work on their mother. Itachi holds him close and shushes him. "Shh-shh-shh. It's okay." He lays his baby brother on his knees and snaps his fingers by his own cheeks. "Watch me, Sasuke. Watch me."

Distracted by the movement and noise and his brother, Sasuke does.

* * *

Sasuke fusses when Mikoto hands him off to Itachi and warns him away with a _look_. The look that says she's about to have a _talk_ with Fugaku. Itachi isn't naive enough to believe it won't be about him and how his ninja training has dropped off. Itachi can't bring himself to care.

He doesn't care how far he gets in his training. It was only ever a distraction to begin with, something to throw his restless mind at because it would start tearing at him if he didn't have something else to focus it on. Sasuke is the opposite of Itachi. He's -not _slow_ , exactly- calm. He's never inside his own mind, always wrapped up in what's happening around him. Sasuke _loves_ life. He's happy and smiley and Itachi feels like a flower before the sun around him.

Sasuke squirms at their parents' raised voices as they begin to argue and Itachi gently pokes his belly. Sasuke's whimper cuts off with a hiccup. "Watch me, Sasuke. Watch me." Sasuke does.

* * *

 _Sasuke's first word is 'Itachi'._

At two years old, Sasuke Uchiha still hasn't spoken. He baby babbles, but no matter how much Mikoto or Itachi try and get him to copy them, he never says an actual word. Mikoto picks him up and rests him on her shoulder, pats his back and murmurs that it's okay, that he's just shy. Fugaku sighs in disappointment and Sasuke copies _that_ just fine, puffing out soft baby cheeks and giving a small scowl that is eerily reminiscent of his father.

Itachi couldn't be more proud of him. At two years old, Sasuke is already defying expectations in a way Itachi has never been able to and he's _so proud,_ pokes him in the middle of the forehead to make him giggle. Peals of happy laughter make Itachi and their mother alike smile at him.

Sasuke reaches out for his big brother over Mikoto's shoulder but he's too far away and turning away to answer Fugaku. Sasuke's small face scrunches up and- "'Tachi!"

Itachi has to catch him because Mikoto honest to Kami drops her son in surprise at hearing him speak. Sasuke laughs at the falling\flying while his whole family stares at him in stunned surprise. Even Fugaku.

"Sasuke," Itachi says, heart ready to beat right out of his chest because there's _no way_ his little Sasuke's first word is-

"Tachi!" Sasuke cries back, reaching up to touch his brother's face, pat his cheek. His smile is luminescent. "Tachi-tachi-tachi!"

Itachi's own smile is so big it hurts his cheeks and he hugs his baby brother while Mikoto stifles her happy sob with her hands. Itachi anchors Sasuke on his chest with one arm and pokes his tiny forehead again. "Sasuke."

Sasuke squeals and grabs Itachi's finger, small hands holding on tight. "Tachi," he murmurs and lays his head on Itachi's shoulder in absolute trust.

Itachi feels his heart melt and rests his head on Sasuke's. He begins humming before he knows it, lulling his beloved little brother to sleep and promising to protect him always.

* * *

 _Sasuke's second word is 'look'._

"Look, Sasuke, do you see?" Itachi tickles the baby's nose with the petals of the tulip and pulls it away when Sasuke reaches for it.

"Tachi!" Sasuke scolds him, tiny cheeks puffing out. He reaches demandingly for the flower. "Tachi."

"Flower," Itachi corrects.

Sasuke gives him an utterly unamused look that babies shouldn't be capable of. "Tachi."

He laughs and Sasuke laughs with him, falling back into Mikoto's flowerbed and happily smelling the tulips.

A yellow one catches Sasuke's eye and he stands up on wobbly feet. He makes it halfway there before their mother's voice filters out into the garden and tells them to come inside.

"Coming, Okaasan!" Itachi replies and scoops Sasuke up into his arms.

Sasuke fusses and points back at the flowerbed. "Tachi! Tachi-tachi-tachi." When his babble doesn't get a response, he tries to get his brother's attention. "Tachi?" He gets no response and puffs out his cheeks.

Mikoto meets them at the door, spotting Sasuke's pouty face and gently poking his belly until he squirms and giggles and hides his face in Itachi's shoulder because he _wants_ to be upset and it's hard when he's being _tickled_ by evil poky fingers.

"Any new words?" she asks, like she's been asking every day for the past two weeks.

"Not yet," Itachi answers. Sasuke has made a veritable language from his name alone and can get across a world of meaning just in the tones he puts in 'tachi'.

Mikoto ducks down to Sasuke's level, getting a mistrustful baby-glare, wary of being tickled again. "Can you say 'Kaasan', Sasuke-chan? 'Kaasan'."

"Tachi," Sasuke stubbornly denies, still pouty.

Mikoto can't help her giggle and ruffles his hair. "Itachi," she agrees, and finally gets a smile.

Sasuke reaches up and grabs a handful of his brother's hair. "Tachi," he scolds again, and tugs harder.

"Ow, ow. Sasuke, ow!"

"Tachi!"

"What did I do to make you so mad at me?"

"Tachi!"

Mikoto leaves them with laugh. "You seem to have things well in hand. Get ready for dinner, both of you."

"Yes, Okaasa- ow. Foolish little brother. You forget my many dark powers. Like _tickling!_ "

"TACHI!" Sasuke squeals and wiggles to get away from the _evil poky fingers._

When her children finally show up at the dinner table, Mikoto has to hide her smile behind her fingers because Sasuke is red-faced and teary-eyed from being over-tickled and Itachi's hair looks like he's been hit with a lightning Jutsu.

Sasuke nestles in her lap, as far away from his _evil_ older brother as he can get and chatters in discontent. "Tachi-tachi-tachi," he grumbles to himself. Mikoto's heart feels like it's going to burst from the overflowing love for her boys even as they firmly ignore each other. She knows it won't last long.

Sure enough, by the end of the meal, Sasuke is yawning and reaching for his 'Tachi and Itachi picks him up with a smile shining with love. He lays out on the floor, with Sasuke on his stomach while he plays with him. Grabs little baby toes -careful not to tickle- and grins as Sasuke stretches his arms out so he takes up as much room on Itachi's torso as physically possible and then some. Sasuke babbles at him, baby nonsense interspersed with a liberal helping of 'tachi's until he yawns so big his face disappears for a moment. Sasuke rests his head on Itachi's chest where he can hear his heartbeat and drifts off to sleep.

When Mikoto looks in on her boys after she finishes cleaning up the table, it's to find them both fast asleep on the floor, Itachi's arms around Sasuke on his chest. She covers them with a blanket and kisses both their foreheads. Fugaku sighs but she ushers him off to bed to leave the boys alone.

* * *

Itachi wakes up in the middle of the night knowing only that something's wrong. It takes but a moment for his mind to make a comparison and realize that _Sasuke is gone_. He sits up like a shot. His feet make hardly a sound on the wooden floors as he runs to his parents' room and opens the door. They're Shinobi, and they're awake before he gets the door open the whole way. "Sasuke's missing."

There are a million and two things for a baby to hurt himself on if he's determined enough. Sasuke is _absolutely_ determined enough. That's assuming he wasn't- wasn't kidnapped. Itachi can feel his heartbeat galloping in his chest like a wild horse and leaves to begin the search even as his parents get up.

They search high and low. Every corner, every crawl space, every cupboard and box. Sasuke is nowhere in the house. Itachi can't _breathe_ because his precious baby brother is _missing_ and- Was the door to the garden open before?

Itachi steps out into the moonlit night and stills.

"Tachi!" Sasuke calls him. He's holding a yellow tulip aloft and waving it. "'ook, Tachi! 'ook!"

 _A new word_ , Itachi's absently notes even as he rushes forward and scoops Sasuke into his arms, rocking his baby brother to hide how he's shaking.

"Tachi?" Sasuke asks, reaching up to pat at the wetness on Itachi's face.

"It's okay," Itachi comforts- himself or Sasuke, he's not sure. "It's okay. I'm okay, you're okay." He wipes off his face and manages a smile to soothe Sasuke's worried expression. "What did you find?"

Sasuke smiles back and holds up the tulip. "'ook, Tachi. See? See?"

A flower. Sasuke went on a midnight adventure to get a _flower_. Itachi laughs because _that's_ his little brother, brave little Sasuke. Itachi almost sneezes when Sasuke shoves the flower at his nose. He goes to bat it away instinctively and Sasuke pulls it away, giggling. He does it again, flower-tickle, out-of-reach.

Itachi pokes Sasuke's forehead. "Silly little brother."

Sasuke puffs his cheeks up at him proudly. "Tachi!"

 _Sasuke's third word is 'see'._

* * *

 _Then 'no'. Then 'mine'._

Their parents are waiting for them when Itachi carries Sasuke inside. Mikoto rushes forward to take Sasuke but the baby's little hands are firmly fisted in Itachi's shirt. "Noooo!"

Mikoto lets go in sheer surprise and looks at Itachi, but he's looking down at Sasuke with just as much wonder. "Don't you want to go with Okaasan for a little bit, Sasuke?"

"No! Tachi my! My!" He lays his head on Itachi's shoulder and pouts.

Mikoto sighs, but she can't help her smile. "You worried your Itachi when you snuck away. You worried us all."

Sasuke's lower lip trembles and he looks up at his brother. "Tachi?"

"You're not in trouble, Sasuke. I'm just glad you're safe. But please don't go exploring alone again without telling someone. Promise me?"

Sasuke nods firmly. "Tachi my, yes."

Itachi pokes Sasuke's forehead again. "Love you, foolish little brother."

* * *

 _'Kaasan' places sixth or seventh, after 'no' and 'yes' and 'mine'._

Mikoto's playing with Sasuke, gobbling his belly, when it happens. He squeals and wiggles his arms and legs in the air. "Ka, no!"

Mikoto pulls away abruptly, heart pounding. "Sasuke-chan?"

He reaches for her with a smile. "Ka!"

She's got him in her arms almost before she makes the decision to. "My little Sasuke-chan! Itachi!" she calls.

Her older son runs into the room with kunai drawn and pauses when he sees her crying. "Okaasan?"

"Sasuke called me 'kaachan'."

Itachi sits next to her before his legs give out on him and watches his little brother intently. Sasuke stares back undaunted with large dark eyes. "Sasuke, can you use your words?"

Sasuke visibly thinks about it for a minute, then points at him. "Tachi." He curls a little hand in Mikoto's top and presses his cheek against her neck. "Ka." Then he sits up and throws his arms wide with a smile. "My! 'ook. Tachi my, Ka my, yes. Tachi-tachi-tachi, see?"

"I do see." _I see you, Sasuke._

* * *

"Itachi! Watch me, Aniki!" Itachi's heart almost gives out because _how did Sasuke even get on the roof?!_ "Look! See-" Sasuke's foot slips and Itachi shunshins to catch him before he hits the ground. Sasuke's unharmed and bright with the immortality of the young, smiling up at him. "Did you see me, Itachi?"

When his heart descends back to its proper place in his chest from where it was lodged in his throat, Itachi manages to nod. "I saw. How did you even get up there?"

Sasuke beams up at him. "I'm going to be a ninja! Like you, Aniki." 'Watch me, Itachi. Look, look. Can you see me?'

Itachi eyes him assessingly, then gives a great, defeated sigh, and smiles. "You're going to need better footing than that if you want to be a ninja."

Sasuke's throws his arms around his neck and buries his face in his brother's neck in joy. "Itachi!"

He launches them both up to the roof and sets Sasuke down. Itachi widens his stance to distribute his weight across the tiles. "Like this. Watch me, Sasuke."

* * *

"Itachi-tachi-tachi," Sasuke chants at his brother's bedside. Itachi smiles and rolls over, eyes still closed. "Itaaaachiii," Sasuke whines. "Aniki, wake uuuup." He shouts in surprise when Itachi springs up, grabs him around the waist, and drags him into bed with him, firmly covering Sasuke's head with the blanket.

"Too early, Sasuke. Sleeping time."

"Not sleeping time," he protests from under the cover. "Get up time."

"Hmm, I don't know..."

"Aniki! It's my birthday! You have to get up!"

"Birthday? No, no. It can't possibly be. I distinctly remember your birthday was last year."

"It was not! ...Not this one. That was my fourth birthday. This is my fifth birthday. They're _completely_ different."

"Oh, they are, are they?"

"Yes. Everyone knows that."

" _I_ didn't know it."

"Aniiikiiiii!"

Itachi laughs. "Oh, well, I suppose."

"Kaasan's inviting kids!" Sasuke's voice turns quiet. "Will you watch?" 'Watch me, Itachi. Watch me. Can you see?'

"I'm already up and it's too late to go back to bed _now_. That's about the only thing that could make me miss your birthday." 'I see, Sasuke. I see you.' "What do you want as a present?"

Sasuke finally manages to wrestle his way out from under the blanket to look up at him hopefully. "Could you... would you teach me a Jutsu?"

After the party and the kids and the cake, Itachi takes Sasuke out to his secret training ground and steps back a safe distance.

"Watch me, Sasuke. Watch me." He makes the hand signs and breathes out a gout of flame and he's not sure which is brighter, the fire or Sasuke's eyes.

* * *

"Itachi! Itachi, look! See? Look!" Sasuke barrels into his legs and Itachi swings him up into his arms.

"See what?"

Sasuke holds a kunai so dull it couldn't cut butter. Itachi makes appropriately awed noises. "I _do_ see."

"I'm going to be a ninja! Just like you! Hi-yah!" He throws the kunai and it isn't even sharp enough to stick in the ground. Itachi smiles and lets Sasuke down to retrieve the blunted weapon. He holds it up to his big brother. "Will you teach me?"

"Of course." Itachi carves a target on a tree and then crouches behind Sasuke. "Here, watch me." 'Watch me, Sasuke. Can you see?'

* * *

Itachi's heart breaks at the betrayal on Sasuke's face. "You promised you were going to show me stuff today!"

"I know, Sasuke. I'm sorry. This mission is really important. I wouldn't leave if I didn't have to." He opens his arms, and it takes a minute that feels like eternity, but then Sasuke throws himself at him, arms around his neck and resting his cheek on Itachi's shoulder.

"Really?"

"I'd never leave you if I didn't have to."

"Not ever?"

" _Never_."

"My Itachi."

"My Sasuke." He pulls away and pokes Sasuke's forehead until tears no longer threaten to fall. "I have to go."

"Be a _great_ ninja, Aniki. I know you can be. Be _awesome_."

"Just watch me."

* * *

xxx

 _What do you see when you look at me now?_ Sasuke wonders. Does he see _little brother_ , or _enemy_ , or _obstacle_? Or does Itachi look at him and still see _Sasuke_?

Itachi tenses and Sasuke braces for attack. _Watch me, Itachi._ He matches the older Uchiha's strike and backs away again. _Do you see? Just watch me._


End file.
